Our Wedding Ceremony

The Wedding: Brent & Tanya Oct 4, 2015

The Officiant: Dr. Sage Breslin

The Gathering

We are gathered here today in the presence of tribe and family to witness and support the marriage of Brent Mikel Kozlowski and Tanya Lynn Paluso.  We are so grateful for the presence of so many who join us here today and also acknowledge those who were not able to join us here today, whether in body or spirit.

The Invocation

In order to ensure that the process of blessing this union is a sacred one, we ask that our prayers be heard.

We ask that all that gather here, either incarnate or in spirit, are here in the best interest of Brent and Tanya.  Our prayer is that we manifest a sacred container for the blessed union we will create.  For those who are unable to support this union, we ask that you take your leave.  We ask this in the name of all that is High and Holy. We ask this in the name of all angels.

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The First 40 Days After Birth

When I was pregnant, I felt like I was going through a tunnel. I knew there was some new world on the other side, and I could see a little bit of the light, but it was incomprehensible at that time. I was excited, scared, apprehensive, giddy and sad all at once.

Sad because my old life was quickly disappearing. Excited and giddy at the new possibilities. Scared and apprehensive that I would be a huge failure.

I didn’t get clear I wanted to even be a mother until I was 33 and got pregnant exactly a year later. I had it that being a mother was not enough. I valued my work more than family for the decade leading up to my pregnancy and didn’t want to be like my own mother who gave everything up to have me.

As women have gone into the workforce over the past century, our culture as a whole has devalued motherhood and the feminine in general. Many of my friends are afraid of giving up their lifestyle and their career to have children. More and more women are waiting until they are in their late thirties and forties if at all.

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So You Want to See the Baby? 7 guidelines for supporting a new mama’s birth

I remember being so excited every time my friend had a baby. I couldn’t wait to go over for that first meeting, but also had so much apprehension come up of not wanting to be a burden. I would get a little hurt if my friend didn’t invite me over right away.

Now that I’ve had my own baby, I am embarrassed about my behavior toward my mama friends. I was completely oblivious to what they were going through. I developed so much compassion for my own friends who were also clueless when they came to see my baby and wish I had been able to give some guidelines for them to know how to best support me.

Here’s the thing: while you want to see the baby, the mama may really need you to show up for her, not the baby.

She just went through the most difficult moment of her life. If she was anything like me, she was wiped out, depleted, exhausted and maybe even nursing an injury.

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lesson from the Sistership Circle Festival

Tonight was so off the charts that I can’t sleep! I’m going through the photos and am in love with each and every person who showed up for one of the most powerful events I’ve hosted in my career.

The irony …

At about 2pm, I had a string of messages coming in from people telling me they couldn’t make it. Each one that came through felt like a stab to my heart and by 3pm, I was in tears. This had been happening all week and with my pregnancy hormones raging, I couldn’t help but feel down.

I was agitated the entire ride over and when Debbie Lichter called me to tell me she was running late due to traffic, I couldn’t hide my frustration. “You sound down,” she commented. And I told her yes, I was down and explained what had been happening all day. She responded, “It’s going to be perfect. I’m bringing some yummy energy with me tonight and this event is going to be so amazing, I can just feel it!”

A few minutes later, I entered the space and my whole body started to relax. The energy from the last event still lingered. I felt my center. I felt my excitement. It was perfect. Brent commented to me: “Didn’t you say that you didn’t have enough space for everyone?” And sure enough, as we set up the backjacks, there was just enough space for the people who confirmed.

I knew this all along, that it was perfect and there was nothing wrong with anyone cancelling – the day before or an hour before – and I also realized that even knowing it is all perfect and trusting the flow of things, I still can feel angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated, agitated and/or upset.

To hide those emotions, cover them up, deny them, would be inauthentic.

To feel those emotions, express them, acknowledge them, allows me to let them move through, would be access to a release.

Interestingly, that was one of the themes of the shares during the event: the challenge of playing the full range, feeling the intensity of anger as a man, being vulnerable and expressing the ugly.

And as I write this, I don’t feel any of those feelings that I felt this afternoon. It’s as if they never happened. Because they are impermanent. I didn’t stuff them down to resurface later. I felt them fully. And I let them go. I hold nothing against anyone, I simply don’t have it in me to hold something against someone or to blame anyone for anything anymore. The truth is: there is nothing ever wrong, it is never anyone’s fault, and everything is exactly as it is supposed to be. TRUST. SURRENDER. ALLOW. BE.

manifesting community everywhere

When you are a stand for community, it shows up everywhere. I went out to put an envelop in my mailbox this afternoon, and in front of my driveway was my neighbor with her two little girls and my other neighbor, an elderly man. I am greeted with friendly smiles and an invitation to a block party on Friday early evening before the kids all go trick-or-treating.

“We are a tight cul-de-sac. Everyone looks out for each other’s kids so we feel like we can go to one another for anything.”

Of course this is the neighborhood I move to. Of course there are friendly women who are also up to women’s empowerment. Of course there is a block party the first week we move in.

Manifestation at its highest. I wonder, how can it get better than this?