Year in Review (Part 2)

I received a ton of positive feedback about last week’s Year in Review and I decided that I needed to continue to share my process of completion of 2014 and the creation of 2015, making this a series.

After doing the Year in Review where I went month by month through the year to tease out highlights and lessons, something still felt incomplete.

So I asked myself the question: what’s still incomplete from 2014? What are you still beating yourself up about? Then I went through the categories of my life to see what was still there in the shadows.

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lesson from the Sistership Circle Festival

Tonight was so off the charts that I can’t sleep! I’m going through the photos and am in love with each and every person who showed up for one of the most powerful events I’ve hosted in my career.

The irony …

At about 2pm, I had a string of messages coming in from people telling me they couldn’t make it. Each one that came through felt like a stab to my heart and by 3pm, I was in tears. This had been happening all week and with my pregnancy hormones raging, I couldn’t help but feel down.

I was agitated the entire ride over and when Debbie Lichter called me to tell me she was running late due to traffic, I couldn’t hide my frustration. “You sound down,” she commented. And I told her yes, I was down and explained what had been happening all day. She responded, “It’s going to be perfect. I’m bringing some yummy energy with me tonight and this event is going to be so amazing, I can just feel it!”

A few minutes later, I entered the space and my whole body started to relax. The energy from the last event still lingered. I felt my center. I felt my excitement. It was perfect. Brent commented to me: “Didn’t you say that you didn’t have enough space for everyone?” And sure enough, as we set up the backjacks, there was just enough space for the people who confirmed.

I knew this all along, that it was perfect and there was nothing wrong with anyone cancelling – the day before or an hour before – and I also realized that even knowing it is all perfect and trusting the flow of things, I still can feel angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated, agitated and/or upset.

To hide those emotions, cover them up, deny them, would be inauthentic.

To feel those emotions, express them, acknowledge them, allows me to let them move through, would be access to a release.

Interestingly, that was one of the themes of the shares during the event: the challenge of playing the full range, feeling the intensity of anger as a man, being vulnerable and expressing the ugly.

And as I write this, I don’t feel any of those feelings that I felt this afternoon. It’s as if they never happened. Because they are impermanent. I didn’t stuff them down to resurface later. I felt them fully. And I let them go. I hold nothing against anyone, I simply don’t have it in me to hold something against someone or to blame anyone for anything anymore. The truth is: there is nothing ever wrong, it is never anyone’s fault, and everything is exactly as it is supposed to be. TRUST. SURRENDER. ALLOW. BE.

I’m now officially …

Lots of changes with Little Be coming into the world. Next year, I will formally and legally become Tanya Lynn Kozlowski when I take Brent’s hand in marriage. The idea of no longer being “Tanya Paluso” scared me, as it is who I always knew myself to be. We become so attached to our names as our identities.

I have thought about continuing to be Tanya Paluso for my business and Tanya Kozlowski for my life and it just doesn’t feel right.

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Make a Difference with Half The Sky

Three years ago, I read a book that had me crying the entire read through. I was crying because I felt the pain of the women featured in the stories, but I also felt inspired and empowered to make a difference. I felt like the authors shed light on some horrific things going on around the world, but they were providing solutions for each and every problem.

Half The Sky is a must read. The documentary is a must see.

In today’s video, I talk about 4 ways you can make a difference after watching this film:

ENGAGE, leave a comment: Have you watched Half The Sky? Leave your insights in the comments below.