We just finished watching The Business of Being Born. I watched it about 3 years ago when I decided that if I got pregnant I would do a homebirth.

As I watched it again with Brent, I sobbed during every part where the women were giving birth.

This pregnancy has me in awe of myself, the birthing process and life itself. What an honor to give birth! What an honor to create life! What an inspiration!

And to think it is really happening … in less than 9 months! It takes my breath away. I want to feel all of it. I want to experience myself going past my edge and making the ultimate surrender that a woman can make … choosing in that moment to give in to it all and allow the baby to come out.

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I woke up with a jolt. Today is the day. “I’m going to take a pregnancy test.”

Brent was wide awake. “Well, shit just got real real.”

A few hours later, within 10 seconds of peeing on the stick, a line appeared, unmistakeably pointing to the fact that I was very pregnant. I burst into tears of joy.

It was unexpected in a sense. Brent and I are only 4 months into our relationship. We had talked about trying to have a baby a year from now. After we got engaged. After we got married. After we hiked the Pacific Crest Trail together, a 5 month wilderness trek from Mexico to Canada.

That was our plan.

But God had another plan. And when I look back at the series of events that occurred over the past 12 months, everything led to this exact outcome.
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