Let go of control

Have you ever felt like the floodgates have opened and you are afraid of drowning?

That’s exactly where I’ve been the past couple weeks. When it rains, it pours.

Between nursing my baby and adjusting to motherhood, planning a wedding, starting a business partnership with my fiance, Brent, where he has taken on the CTO role for Sistership Circle, supporting and coaching a team of Sistership Circle facilitators, launching the next Mastery of Circle Leadership program, leading two circles and having so many creative ideas flowing through me, I feel like this is my year and I’m being given everything I’ve asked for and more.

It’s at this point that self-sabotage can creep in.

Can I handle it?
Is it too much? Too good to be true?
How do I maintain control?

I felt myself contracting, feeling pressured, and getting a splitting headache. But I pressed on, ignoring my body’s signs of stress.

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The First 40 Days After Birth

When I was pregnant, I felt like I was going through a tunnel. I knew there was some new world on the other side, and I could see a little bit of the light, but it was incomprehensible at that time. I was excited, scared, apprehensive, giddy and sad all at once.

Sad because my old life was quickly disappearing. Excited and giddy at the new possibilities. Scared and apprehensive that I would be a huge failure.

I didn’t get clear I wanted to even be a mother until I was 33 and got pregnant exactly a year later. I had it that being a mother was not enough. I valued my work more than family for the decade leading up to my pregnancy and didn’t want to be like my own mother who gave everything up to have me.

As women have gone into the workforce over the past century, our culture as a whole has devalued motherhood and the feminine in general. Many of my friends are afraid of giving up their lifestyle and their career to have children. More and more women are waiting until they are in their late thirties and forties if at all.

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So You Want to See the Baby? 7 guidelines for supporting a new mama’s birth

I remember being so excited every time my friend had a baby. I couldn’t wait to go over for that first meeting, but also had so much apprehension come up of not wanting to be a burden. I would get a little hurt if my friend didn’t invite me over right away.

Now that I’ve had my own baby, I am embarrassed about my behavior toward my mama friends. I was completely oblivious to what they were going through. I developed so much compassion for my own friends who were also clueless when they came to see my baby and wish I had been able to give some guidelines for them to know how to best support me.

Here’s the thing: while you want to see the baby, the mama may really need you to show up for her, not the baby.

She just went through the most difficult moment of her life. If she was anything like me, she was wiped out, depleted, exhausted and maybe even nursing an injury.

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Procrastination is Not a Bad Word!

I love Sundays because of the beautiful routine I have that includes all my self-care. Yoga. Dance. Fresh food at the farmer’s market. Friends. Sunshine.

Yesterday, I took the day off from making a video to rest. I think taking one day of rest per week is so important and I have been naturally doing it through this vlog journey.

This morning, I did yoga with my girl Jess Johnson and we had a conversation about the myth of procrastination.

I loved this conversation so much I wanted to share it with you:

ENGAGE, leave a comment: Can you shift your perception of procrastination? What’s it telling you? Leave your insights below.

How to Say Yes to Yourself (and no to others)

I have a really hard time saying no to others. I have a even harder time saying yes to myself.

Why is this?

Why do I say yes to someone and immediately regret it and then go on a downward spiral as I try to reclaim my power?

I dive into a process with my East Bay Tribe Leader and dear friend Jess Libbey on today’s video:

ENGAGE, leave a comment: what’s been your experience with saying yes when you don’t mean it? Share your stories and insights below.