Last week, I hosted the Mastery of Circle Leadership retreat … one of the most powerful weeks of my life.
The training was a success and I got so many lessons that I want to share the top 5 in a minute.
It was my first time away from Kali, pumping in between sessions, learning how to practice self-care and balance it all. Intense. Exhausting. I completely lost it on Friday when Kali wouldn’t take the breast after getting used to bottle feeding, driving my fiance over his edge. We made it through and feeling stronger than ever as we are 54 days away from our wedding.
You could say that I’m in the fire, going through not only one major rite of passage (becoming a mother), but TWO in one year (becoming a wife). I feel like I’m getting squeezed, forced to let go of old patterns and old beliefs to find deeper intimacy, balance, joy and harmony with my family and work.
Lesson #1: Feminine Leadership requires exquisite self-care
To lead a 5 day retreat with a 5 month old baby is probably one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It required a whole new level of self-care so I could show up in my power. Which meant I had to say no to going out in the evening, cancel yoga at 7:30am after the second day, go to sleep earlier than normal, eat nourishing food and get plenty of water.
Leading in the feminine is not about over-giving. It’s about giving from a place of abundance. When your cup is empty, you can’t show up fully to serve. You must be in the energy of receptivity, getting your needs met in the process of leading.
Can you love yourself so much that self-care is not an option, but a requirement in your daily life?
Lesson #2: “Create healthy boundaries without barriers”
This was a quotable from one of the facilitators-in-training and it really hit home. You can say no and take care of yourself with an open heart that feels good for you and others. You can actually create deeper intimacy with healthy boundaries because you create a level of respect.
What would it look like if you came from affinity and connection in setting boundaries instead of fear and disconnection?
Lesson #3: Use ritual as your portal
I talked about the power of ritual on last Thursday’s Feminine Leadership Activation Call because I was so inspired by the new ritual we co-created at the event for women stepping into becoming a Sistership Circle facilitator.
(You can access that recording here).
A ritual is a religious or solemn ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order (a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, and objects, performed in a sequestered place, and performed according to set sequence.)
It is really our access as priestesses to merge the spiritual with the mundane. To make our work sacred.
What ritual can you incorporate into your work to make it more sacred and potent?
Lesson #4: Set the date
The peak event of the training was when each woman declared the date that her circle would start. This can be challenging for most, but I believe it is the secret to success.
You may want to have everything perfect and lined up before you make this commitment.
But as my friend Goethe says: “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”
Every time I’ve set a date, the event or program happens. The universe truly conspires to support me (even the curve balls turn out to be blessings in disguise when I get their lessons).
What are you wanting to start in your business? Can you declare a date and commit to it in your calendar?
Lesson #5: Commit to the long haul
I’ve noticed something: how many people drop out of their businesses. Yep, when the going gets tough, they peace out.
I started the first iteration of my work in January 2009. I’m in it for the long haul. It has evolved and changed over time, but I have never given up on my vision. That’s why I’m successful.
How many times have you called it quits because you lost inspiration and things weren’t going the way you originally imagined?
How committed are you to achieving your dreams?
Are you willing to make that commitment to start [ your project ]?
Will you do whatever it takes to finish [ your project ]?
Are you ready to draw a line in the sand today and say “This is it! This is MY year to shine!”
Can you make a commitment NOW to your vision for the long haul?
The thing that gets in the way of fully committing is the fear of failure. Of not being enough. Of being found out as a fraud. Of letting others down. Of not being able to live up to the commitment.
And all of that is BS. The monkey mind. An illusion.
The truth is: anything is possible.
And so when you make that commitment, who are you asking to be in your corner to stand for your greatness and not let you get brought down by the voices of doubt, fear and worry? Who will stand for you so you don’t take yourself out of the game and quit on your dreams?
This is another one of my secrets to commitment: being surrounded by an intentional, supportive community who will stand with you in your commitment. They hold you when you want to sit down. They pick you back up when you fall.